Kratos Interview
by warriorswordsman7
Summary: MY FIRST STORY! This is a one-shot interview of the legendary Kratos! Prepare to laugh.....


A/N: My first story!! This is an interview of the Ghost of Sparta…Kratos. WARNING: SPOILERS FOR GOD OF WAR 3! And NO I don't own God of War…I'm just a fan, I'm just a fan.

What happens when a news reporter wants to interview Kratos…the one responsible for the death of many gods and the Sisters of Fate? ANYTHING!

A news vehicle pulled up in front of a large, Greek styled mansion. A woman in a suit came out of the vehicle and said to a camera man, "Okay, make sure you get a good shot of his house. (Clears throat) Hello everyone! I'm about to interview the Ghost of Sparta, Kratos himself!" She knocked on the door…but there was no answer.

She rang the door bell which played the first part of "The End Begins". Suddenly soft thumping was heard…then they grew louder and louder, then, the door slammed open and Kratos shouted, "I TOLD YOU GIRL SCOUTS THAT FOR THE LAST TIME…IF YOU COME NEAR MY HOUSE I'LL TEAR YOUR…uuuhh who are you?" The news reporter was in shock for a moment…too scared to talk. "Hello…are you dead?"

The news reporter then snapped out of her shocked state and said, "We…we're from channel 5 news…we're…we're here to interview you." "WHAT? AND I WASN'T INFORMED? THIS AN OUTRAGEOF THE HIGHEST ORDER! I AM……wait…did you say channel 5?" "Uuuhhh ye…" "OH SH$#% I'M ON TV! OH SH%#$ NIGGA! SUCK IT ZEUS!" "Are we going to get this over with or what?" said the news reporter, not as scared as she was before.

"Okay let's…wait will this be like Cribz where I randomly repeat what I'm saying?" "No, that won't happen." "Oh what a relief, re-relief, re-re-relief…..CURSE YOU HIP HOP INDUSTRY WITH YOUR STRANGE DANCING AND…BAGGY JEANS…and autotune…and…whatever T-Pain is…" The news reporter stared at Kratos for a few seconds until she said, "Ooooookay……well shall we come in for the interview?" "Sure, just be careful of my dog snuggles." "Why should I be afraid of a dog named…….O MY!" she saw a three headed bull dog with sharp teeth and red eyes barking frantically behind a barred metal fence. "Isn't she cute?" Kratos said. "And it's a girl…" the news reporter said under her breath. "Let us sit here in my living room."

"So Kratos, you were once the legendary god of war, what was that like?"

"Well……I had lots of gold ever where, godly powers, women with meteor-sized tits willing to do anything for me….anything….AND, niggas building statues of me! So…it was sweet to say the least."

"I see, and what was it like serving Ares?"

"HORRIBLE! OF ALL OF THE GODS, HE ASKED FOR THE MOST DEMEANING TASKS! WHAT CLEANING HIS TOILET HAD TO DO WITH WAR WAS BEYOND ME!"

"Okay. So Kratos…tell me...about your relationship with Athena."

"Well…she was helpful…and in the end…she was the only one who was there for me, even if she did get a little greedy for power in the end….."

"Anything else?"

"N-no…what are you……OH MY…THAT'S SICK! SHE'S MY F#& SISTER!"

"WELL…siblings do get together in Greek mythology…."

"YES BUT UNLIKE OTHER GREEKS, I HAVE SENSE! I MEAN WE DID SCREW AROUND ONCE BUT…..WE WERE ALONE IN OLYMPUS…WE WERE HORNY AND well I mean…Athena is kinda hot….kinda… BUT IT WAS ONE TIME…WE'RE STILL JUST PARTENERS!"

Kratos took a deep breath and the news reporter took a breath and asked, "S-so, you hate Zeus…do you still consider him a father?"

"A bad one…but as the husband of my mother and the one responsible for my existence…so yes….."

"I see, so who do you hate more….Zeus, or Ares?"

"Ares caused me the most trouble and if it wasn't for him then I wouldn't suffer as much as I do now….so…."

"Well that answers my question…..so you killed your wife and daughter, how do you feel about that?"

"….skip to another question……"

"But…….."

"SKIP TO ANOTHER QUESTION!"

"OKAY!" The news reporter was frightened, so she decided to wrap it up, "Now………how did you feel about God of War 3's ending?"

"Eh…it was okay for the end of an epic trilogy……but I wished that it was more clear and y'know…me…..I MEAN, I DIE, THEN AFTER THE END CREDITS, I TURN OUT TO BE ALIVE!"

"Right….well I guess were done…"

"Oh, we're not done yet….."

"What do you mean?"

Kratos laughed. Then suddenly the next moment the news reporter found herself naked in a bed with Kratos. "WOW!" She said, "Well um…this interview appears to...be over…"

"Glad to be of service to ya'" Kratos said as the news reporter left his massive mansion.

Loud barking went off in the background and Kratos said, "DOWN SNUGGLES!"

A/N: Well…that's it…my one-shot story. Please be gentle, but truthful when reviewing! Flame me…I don't care! XD


End file.
